is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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