the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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