There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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