For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
He literally asked permission to hit on me
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize