...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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