If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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