he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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