I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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