I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
