What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
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