Texts From Last Night

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  (518): View more from New York

  i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno

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  (518): i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno http://tfl.nu/fv58
  Replies (29) Good night (456) Bad night (2808) Order T-Shirt
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  (940): View more from Texas

  I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.

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  (940): I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you. http://tfl.nu/qbhx
  Replies (11) Good night (657) Bad night (3653) Order T-Shirt
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again

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  (618): Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again http://tfl.nu/9mpp
  Replies (34) Good night (6238) Bad night (690)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  USA! USA! USA!

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  (262): i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic (414): USA! USA! USA! http://tfl.nu/meud
  Replies (34) Good night (4681) Bad night (779)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.

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  (352): My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible. http://tfl.nu/infy
  Replies (8) Good night (3436) Bad night (735) Order T-Shirt
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?

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  (256): Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background? http://tfl.nu/fohx
  Replies (6) Good night (1041) Bad night (2195) Order T-Shirt
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  (707): View more from California

  At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.

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  (707): At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve. http://tfl.nu/oxx2
  Replies (3) Good night (3351) Bad night (683) Order T-Shirt
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.

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  (905): Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up. http://tfl.nu/c9v7
  Replies (9) Good night (670) Bad night (2980) Order T-Shirt
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  (817): View more from Texas

  She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis

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  (817): She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis http://tfl.nu/sxjx
  Replies (13) Good night (2486) Bad night (482) Order T-Shirt
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses

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  (780): Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses http://tfl.nu/pn1w
  Replies (24) Good night (1950) Bad night (547) Order T-Shirt
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?

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  (817): Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys? http://tfl.nu/z6j2
  Replies (11) Good night (1950) Bad night (578) Order T-Shirt
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.

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  (337): IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE. http://tfl.nu/suxx
  Replies (5) Good night (972) Bad night (372) Order T-Shirt
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  (949): View more from California

  Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.

  (949): View more from California

  I felt like a god.

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  (949): Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list. (949): I felt like a god. http://tfl.nu/u6fp
  Replies (6) Good night (996) Bad night (315)
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  (631): View more from New York

  Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?

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  (631): Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"? http://tfl.nu/xfwq
  Replies (6) Good night (1135) Bad night (401) Order T-Shirt
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year

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  (414): Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year http://tfl.nu/dko3
  Replies (3) Good night (886) Bad night (385) Order T-Shirt

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