I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
You're earring is so big in my mouth
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day