Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.