I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
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Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day