i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Randomize