It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
