Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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