I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
