That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.