idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Dating After Heartbreak
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions