five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
