If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
