so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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