Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
