its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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