i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Randomize
