My nipple is on Facebook.
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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