Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
this boner is exhausting
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
