You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
