are you still at the devil's house?
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
