have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Randomize
