He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize