he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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