Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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