I faked an abortion last night.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
