with your own penis?
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
