ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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