So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
