Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize