what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I deserve to be covered in dicks
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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