Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
i think my cat just said my name.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
