Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
