HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
