never play flip cup with pint glasses
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Naked Twister starts at high noon
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
