Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Dicks are not precious.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
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