The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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