it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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