I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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