This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
17 People Who Prepared For Spring Break The Right Way
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you