I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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