I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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