Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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