took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
