bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
