I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
