so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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