he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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