I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize