Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
