Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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