She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
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