The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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