There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
