hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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